


Surrogate

by Clementive



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Colour Symbolism, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Feels, Hanakotoba | Language of Flowers, Hurt/Comfort, Japanese Culture, Light Angst, Parenthood, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Pre-Relationship, Pregnancy, Surrogacy, Uchiha Sasuke Has a Prosthetic Arm, War Veteran Uchiha Sasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24717271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clementive/pseuds/Clementive
Summary: Sasuke's relationship with the surrogate mother carrying his child is complex, fake and completely illegal.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Yamanaka Ino
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	Surrogate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anon(s)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anon%28s%29).



> I posted this weeks ago on FFN.net, but I forgot to cross-post here... Oops.
> 
> This was written for anon(s) who requested a SasuIno fic on FFN.net.
> 
> Cultural notes: This is based on the concept of surrogacy as it is perceived in Japan. I didn't want to go too technical with the law and cultural perspectives, because this isn't a documentary (though there are hints throughout the fic), just know that the secrecy surrounding Sasuke and Ino's relationship is based on how surrogacy and single parenthood are viewed in Japan. 
> 
> Colour symbolism and language of flowers are both based on Japanese culture in this fic.

Sasuke woke up covered with sweat.

The noise in his head, the noise that was there, pressed against his skull, against his stump. It got off and off, timely bombs, and there was a limb in a minefield, miles away, years ago. There was a limb, unearthed, destroyed.

It was still the night, but the sky had turned purplish. He didn't remember what the sky had been like when he woke up missing a limb.

Sasuke turned and twisted in his bed. Turned and twisted, gripping his missing arm, tossing the tangled bed sheets. They stuck to his skin, sleek and cold, tightening around his legs.

' _Am I ever going to be free?_ '

His head was a battlefield, late at night, when the edges of his reality blurred. The war was over, but bombs and opus and gunshots still rattled inside him when he let his guard down. When he let his guard down, they took his arm over and over again, in the dark of the night, in his mind, in his nightmares.

They never truly went away.

Clumsily, Sasuke reached across from him, knocking his glass of water and keys and wallet on his night table. He gripped his phone, panting. He wanted to cancel everything.

He lay back on his back. And turned and twisted. And suffocated.

He threw the phone against the wall. He was fully awake now.

A child wouldn't stand between him and his nightmares, Sasuke knew.

He still wanted it.

He still wanted happiness.

He was a selfish man.

Sasuke turned and twisted for the rest of the night.

* * *

Sasuke easily spotted her from his car.

She wore red, a cherry red dress and hat. She delicately held the hat on her head with her hand, her head tilted up.

Sasuke had expected her in green or white. Fertility and purity. He had expected her to blend in with the other women entering the fertility clinic, a touch of green, a bowed head, nervous hands.

He hadn't expected her explosive, red, power and heat. ' _Striking_ ,' he thought numbly.

After the birth, there was red.

For a ceremony, there was red.

Not before.

Sasuke's fingers stiffened on his car keys, and he thought of driving away. He thought of finding a woman with green or white, but she turned her head toward him as if she had sensed him. Her blond hair was tied back in braids, but loose strands whipped out of her face.

He held her pale gaze. Her face was guarded, her shoulders tensed. A part of him froze.

It _was_ her, he decided.

Sasuke removed his keys from the ignition and got out of the car. She fully turned toward him. Stiffly, he waved her over.

Her dress spun around her legs, her heels clicking. Polished black. He averted his gaze.

He wondered how long it would take before she noticed one of his arms was too stiff to be flesh. He already imagined the assumption; He couldn't find a real wife because he was half a man.

Sasuke steeled himself.

"Ino," he greeted coldly, and he touched his pocket.

She nodded slowly and bowed. He hated formalities, but he forced himself to nod back at her.

"You can change your mind," Sasuke added quietly, his eyes shifting across the parking lot. None of the couples were paying attention to them.

"I won't," Ino replied and looked at him straight in the eyes.

They burned through him.

She held up her hand, her gesture part impatience, part carelessness.

Sasuke took his mother's ring out of his pocket, his left arm rigid by his side. Her eyes didn't leave his. With his right hand, he felt the gem of the ring, its engraving.

Sasuke clenched his jaw and dropped the ring in her palm. Unabashed, Ino slipped it on her finger.

"Should we go over... _it_ again," Sasuke asked, and he was still ice, and she was still fire.

She smiled, slow, and nodded. He relaxed.

"We've been married four years, and we've been trying for three," Sasuke stopped, uncomfortable. "I've a fake marriage licence if they ask."

"They won't."

"They could," he replied coldly, and he felt like he may burst.

If they got caught, the law would protect the child, but he was supposed to be the law. He was supposed the father, the mother, the soldier, the protector. He was supposed to protect the child at all costs. By himself. Wasn't that why he served in the first place? Why he came back against all odds?

To protect people at all cost.

' _When am I going to be free?_ ' Sasuke thought again before he could stop himself, and she opened her mouth, unperturbed, crinkling like fire: "Let's go."

* * *

They left the clinic a few hours later.

Sasuke could barely breathe. He walked because she walked. They reached the parking lot.

They didn't speak.

She had been ready for insemination as scheduled. Everything had gone according to plan.

Now, Sasuke wondered if he should touch her. He wanted to stop, but she didn't. Ino walked toward her car, and he walked toward his, dazed.

He was going to be a father.

Sasuke finally stopped besides his car and turned.

He could still see her hat, floating above the parked cars. He still hear her heels clicking.

He grimaced.

He jogged after her.

"Ino," Sasuke called out through gritted teeth.

"We should wait until we are sure I'm pregnant before I move in," Ino stated, unperturbed, and unlocked her car. "I don't want to take advantage of you, and we could be doing this a few times before it takes. They said that."

She removed her hat, smoothed back her hair. Then, she threw the hat in the backseat. Still holding the driver's door opened, she paused to look back at him, one heel already in the car. Her hair shimmered, marigold.

He almost said no.

He almost touched her then.

"Hn. Call me if you need anything," Sasuke relented and stiffly, he bowed sharply at her.

"Wait," Ino slipped the ring off and handed it to him, "here."

Sasuke looked at her hand, but didn't move. The gem gleamed.

Ino huffed, softly, waving her hand more harshly. The gem blurred.

"Come on," she said, and her smile was humourless.

Sasuke stepped back, his hands in his pockets. He was reluctant to trust her, and from her impatience, he imagined so was she, but he was supposed to be better now.

For the child.

"Keep it until next time."

He spun on his heels without another word.

* * *

At home, Ino sank in the bath, holding her knees to her chest. She breathed in the steam. Her skin turned red from the heat. She lowered her forehead to her knees.

She wanted to feel full again.

She carried her past like rotten flowers. She carried her father's death, her failure to keep his legacy alive, like rotten flowers. Rotten. Everything was rotten.

She was angry.

She was hopeless.

She was sad.

Her family's flower shop was gone. The creditors had finally claimed the store. She had closed it with yellow and white lilies and chrysanthemums, flowers for mourning. Even the city was in ruins, surviving on croaked tiny breaths, careful plans to rebuild. Post-War, they called it. But the post-war was nothing like the pre-war.

Her nails dug in her flesh.

Ino shuddered, pressing her forehead harder on her knees.

Everything was gone, different, and everyone had eagerly turned toward the future, brand-new industries, a brand-new economy. She recognized nothing, least of all herself.

Wasn't she simply doing what was expected of her, post-war? A careful rebuilding of a brand-new her?

Ino tilted her head back and sank deeper in the water.

She agitated her hands underwater and the bath rippled, parting, fanning out her hair.

Her ears popped.

She still smelled rotten flowers.

She was still angry.

She was still lost.

The water cooled.

* * *

Ino showed up in harsh yellow on his doorstep three weeks later. She radiated warmth and confidence.

His heart thudded, his hand gripping the door. There was a suitcase next to her, and he reached for it because he couldn't reach for her. His thoughts jumbled.

_She was here. She was here. **Shewashere.**_

Ino didn't speak.

She slipped out of her shoes and put on the slippers he had nudged toward her. She was still a muted fire. His ears whistled with the heaving silence.

He thought of the war. Something about her mouth, her eyes, her, her, _her_ , reminded him of the front with its flailing smoking trenches.

"It's a girl," Ino said and stepped inside.

Sasuke snapped back to reality. He frowned and let go of the door

"I dreamt it," she added with the same calm that unnerved him.

"Hn."

Ino looked around her.

The kitchen gleamed, black marble and steel appliances, and it opened on a spacious living room. The curtains over the windows were thin, white, and the couch and sofas made of black leather.

Ino took another step and Sasuke moved aside, watching her in silence.

"How do we... do this?" she asked finally and turned toward him.

She pushed back her loose hair with a gesture of calculated impatience.

"I had a contract drafted... for payment and medical expenses." His voice was cold, but hesitant.

Ino nodded slowly, her chin set.

The air buzzed between them. Silence stretched.

"I'll show you to the guest bedroom," Sasuke said and indicated the way.

He rolled her suitcase in front of him and walked across the living room to a small hallway leading to a bedroom. He switched on the lights and stepped aside, looking back at her.

Ino glanced at the bed in the centre of the room and walked to the window.

She stopped there, the edges of her framed in light.

She moved the curtains aside haltingly, with a sudden brittleness that surprised him.

"I thought it would be easier for you to be on the first floor, especially for the end," Sasuke said quietly, watching her carefully. "But it's smaller than the bedrooms I have upstairs."

"It's fine," Ino said distractedly, still looking out at the garden.

"You should leave all the chores to me."

She drummed her fingers on the window sill.

"I can cook."

"I could hire a chef..." Sasuke countered.

"No," Ino said too loudly. "I don't want to be useless."

She drummed her fingers faster, louder. She wondered how his family crest still had everything when hers was bankrupt. Her jealousy gripped her viciously.

Her fingers stiffened.

"Hn."

Carefully, Sasuke brushed past her and opened the door of the bathroom.

"This is your private bathroom."

When she didn't move, he pointed at the other door: "This is the closet."

Ino whirled around, her face closed. Her blue eyes were almost dark. They swallowed him, biting, and raw, and he wondered whether she truly was impatient, or burnt out with anger.

"I'm fine," Ino recited and straightened her back. "I'm fine."

She reminded him of the war again. She stood too straight. She spoke as if to convince herself it was time to fight.

Sasuke hesitated.

No one discussed the war. They were all branded. They were all struggling. It didn't unite them. It severed them.

It severed them now. Her with her anger, him with his nightmares and his lost limb.

"Ino," Sasuke said her name roughly.

He gulped. They traded, spoke, in uneven wavelengths, cool and warm hues they didn't see, but felt.

Her mouth was tight, mirroring his.

"Thank you," Sasuke said finally and closed the door after him.

* * *

Ino dry-heaved over the toilet, her arms held out to keep her hair out of her face. She cursed softly, feeling her way to the flush button on top of the toilet. Her fingers froze midair, the sound of whirling water and bile startling her.

Ino looked up, her eyes widening, and Sasuke towered over her, his dark eyes flashing.

"Wake me up next time," he said coldly and gathered her hair in his hands, metal and flesh.

"I'm done," she said quietly.

Sitting back on heels, Ino felt her burning cheeks with the back of her hand. Her legs thighs protested as she switched position. Her stomach protested. Her fingers reached up to the edge of the counter, so she could push herself up. Dizzy and nauseous, she froze.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"You don't look done," Sasuke said, his lips barely moving.

"I was kinda hoping this would be the first and last time," Ino admitted weakly.

"Hn."

Sasuke shifted his weight to stand behind her. He twisted her hair around his right wrist and pressed his left hand against her back to soothe her.

"It's okay."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they faced each other, still sitting on the cool tiles of the bathroom. Pale, Ino stared at his prosthetic arm then, at his face.

"Don't," Sasuke said icily. "Don't look away like it's not there."

"You've your own nightmares," Ino replied, holding his stare. "I hear you call out at night sometimes. That's why I didn't wake you up."

His face darkened, twitching. He came back. He was there. There was the noise in his head sometimes, but he came back. He survived.

He needed her to know that. He was there to stay. For her. For his child.

"Wake me up," Sasuke insisted.

"I don't pretend it's not there. You do. You wear a glove. You stand with your arm back..." she grew louder, her head shook weakly. He stilled. "I know it's there."

Sasuke smirked, slow, knocking his head back against the wall. He laughed, softly, his chest moving almost soundlessly.

"I got it for the baby, so I could hold her," Sasuke said unevenly. He smiled sadly. He touched his prosthesis. "I didn't want it at first."

"You'll be a good dad," Ino said, never looking away. "With or without it."

He nodded to himself, lips pinched, silence stretching. He almost wished he could say it back: " _You'll be a good mom._ "

* * *

With the tip of her fingers, Ino turned the vase on the counter, carefully inspecting the white flowers without a word. She inclined her head, her face blank.

Sasuke cleared his throat.

"They are-"

"I know what they are."

Sasuke turned his face away, clenching his jaw, so he wouldn't wince. Wouldn't flinch. Wouldn't tell her he bought the flowers because his neighbours whispered about "his poor pretty wife" with pity in their eyes. Wouldn't tell her she filled his house, brought it back to life with bright colours and thumping steps.

It wasn't just the baby.

There was something about her and the way she pushed everything back with impatience and reached for everything with kindness.

"If you don't like them-"

"White camellia is for waiting," Ino whispered, interrupting him, and she took the vase in her arms. She spun on her heels. She stepped outside on the patio, letting light in.

The sliding door didn't fully close after her.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose, letting go of his briefcase. It crashed on the floor. His hand hurt, barely opening. He opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of her. She sat on the patio, rounder, fuller, the vase next to her.

She looked up at the sky.

Sasuke relaxed.

He bent down to retrieve his suitcase.

"Your garden is a terrible mess," she called after him and for the first time, there was bubbling laughter in her voice.

* * *

"Sasuke, look!"

Sasuke focused on the jade gem of his mother's ring as Ino gripped his left arm. He felt nothing, but he knew she felt the void around his prosthetic arm where his bicep would have been. He knew she felt the metallic edges. He had tested it too many times, rubbing the metal when he felt flaring flesh where there was none.

In the last two months, he had grown accustomed to removing his prosthesis in front of her. She had asked questions, but she had never touched it. She had never touched him.

' _When will I finally be free?_ ' his mind echoed, because there was this distance, this anger, sitting between them, crushing them.

And sometimes, Ino laughed, and he wanted everything to end.

So, Sasuke didn't look at her.

He didn't look at the ultrasound monitor.

He didn't look at the gynaecologist as he slid the ultrasound transducer over Ino's belly.

"It's a girl," the gynaecologist announced with a smile.

Sasuke swiftly turned his head toward the monitor. He could hear her heart beat.

"I told you," Ino said and laughed and squeezed his arm.

Then, she let it go.

And he almost let go of his fear.

* * *

"Sasuke?" Ino hissed and knocked softly on the door of his bedroom.

Sasuke sat up, disoriented, his forehead sleek with sweat. She knocked again. He tossed the bed sheets to the side and quickly reached for a t-shirt. He put it on with difficulty advancing toward the door.

"What is it?" he asked with urgency as he opened the door.

He glanced up and down at her.

"Are you okay?"

"I can't sleep," Ino said in a hushed shrill and threw her hands in the air.

She brushed past him and started pacing in the middle of his room.

"Can you tell your daughter to settle down?" Ino cried out and pointed at her enlarged stomach. "I can only sleep in one position and she won't let me. She keeps kicking."

"I'm-"

Ino huffed, stopped and gripped his right hand to press it to her belly.

"Tell. Her." she insisted through ground teeth.

After a moment of hesitation, Sasuke guided Ino to the edge of his bed. Uncomfortably, he sat down next to her. Ino sighed and ran a tired hand through her hair. Sasuke touched her belly again, frozen, waiting for her to react.

"Tell her!"

"Hey, honey... Go to sleep," Sasuke whispered, and the baby stopped moving.

"Oh, thank god," Ino moaned and pressed her hand on top of his. "Keep it there for a while."

They didn't move, carefully inhaling and exhaling, as if the baby would wake up.

She was already six months pregnant.

* * *

"Sasuke..." Ino hissed from above him. "She's doing it again!"

Sasuke grumbled and parted the bed sheets for her. He patted the bed, exhausted. It has been the third night in a row.

Ino clumsily lied down on his bed next to him.

She closed her eyes, her body tensed, the heels of her hands on her eyes. She heard him rolled toward her. Then, she felt his breath on her stomach. He kissed it. Surprised, she looked down at him. His eyes were on her belly, his smile vague.

Her heart squeezed. Her hands prickled.

She was a surrogate. She often forgot.

"Sasuke?"

Startled, he looked up at her, stilling.

"Was that... okay?" Sasuke asked.

Ino nodded, chewing the inside of her cheeks.

He spoke to the baby again, too softly for Ino to hear. She shifted, her back, her legs hurting.

"She stopped moving."

Sasuke lay down on his side, one hand on her belly.

"Can I ask... why you wanted her?" Ino asked.

He didn't react, his eyes closed.

Ino chewed on her bottom lip, turning her head back toward the ceiling.

"I've lost many people," Sasuke said evenly, surprising her. "I've... killed many people. I thought I'd die in the war. I consider myself lucky I survived with only an arm missing. Other times, I'm not thankful, and I wonder if any of it was worth it."

Ino closed her eyes.

He caressed her stomach, drawing slow circles.

"At first, I didn't want to be alone. Now, I just want to give back. To love again. I always wanted children."

"I see," Ino said and smiled sadly.

"What about you? Why did you agree to this?"

She could feel his stare on her. She rolled on her left side, her knees slightly bent like she had been instructed by the doctor. It was important to her that he knew how much she cared for his daughter.

Sasuke rubbed his knuckles against her belly, watching her intently.

"Something like that," Ino said and brushed her fingertips against his cheek, his brow, and stopped on his chin. "I'm alone," she admitted quietly.

' _And I want to be whole again_ ,' she added silently.

Her hand slid down his neck.

He moved closer to her.

"We had a flower shop, but I had to sell everything to bury my father. I know she's not my legacy, but I just... wanted to make something beautiful bloom again."

' _You've bloomed again_ ,' Sasuke almost said. ' _You were red and now you are blue. Now, you laugh again._ '

There was an almost certainty, an almost sadness, and almost happiness to their relationship. He wondered if she knew.

If she felt it too.

He closed his eyes, her breath on his cheek, his arm still between them.

* * *

When Sasuke got home from work, Ino was crying on the couch. He stilled in the entrance, then kicked out of his shoes. He left his briefcase by the door, approaching her quickly.

"Why are you crying? Did something happen?"

Ino shook her hand, attempting a smile, but her face twisted, bloated and red.

"No, no, she's fine. It's the hormones."

Sasuke hesitated, pacing, then sat next to her, his face rigid, his eyes searching hers. She did it more and more, now, re-address his concerns for her to his daughter, like she was only a surrogate.

' _According to the law, if you give birth, you're a mother_ ,' he often imagined saying. ' _You're a mother._ ' But he feared the anger of the first months resurfacing. He feared the aching in his chest, and how she filled every inch of him at times.

He couldn't imagine filling her life the way she filled his.

"You don't look fine," Sasuke said carefully.

"I didn't think it would be this hard," Ino said and her voice cracked. She wiped at her eyes and shook her head at him, her eyes widened. "Don't worry, I'm not thinking of leaving or anything, it's just I'm used to her now."

Sasuke slid closer to her. He took her hands in his.

"I'm used to you too," he said softly, and he cocked his head to the side, feeling her gaze on him. "Maybe you should stay, after she's born."

He waited until her sobs had subsided, his eyes on the fresh vase of white camellias by the window. He waited for an answer that never came.

" _White camellias are for waiting,_ " she had said.

Sasuke let go of her hands and walked out of the living room. His stump itched.

 _Half-man._ The noise in is head was back. He wanted it to be back. He wanted to be patient. He wanted to be kind like she was.

He ground his teeth.

If she stayed he would only hold her with one arm. Only hold her back with one arm.

' _When will I be free?_ '

* * *

Sitting on her bed, Ino pressed her hands to her stomach.

In a hushed voice, she told Sasuke's daughter that her father had brought fresh flowers back in her life.

She told her about the garden Sasuke had helped her reorganize.

She spoke more about her father, her voice hoarse, her eyes gleaming. She told her about the way he added tomatoes to some dish when she turned her back. She told her of the way he pinched his lips when he watched cats videos on his computer to keep from laughing.

Ino talked and talked, but she never admitted that she was terrified of leaving them. Even if she would have the money to restart her family's flower shop after this. Even if her grief had lessened.

She almost felt like she had a family again.

* * *

"Sasuke..." Ino whispered from the door step of his bedroom.

Without glancing back at her, Sasuke lifted the bed sheets for her.

"She's not kicking."

He propped himself up on his elbow, his body twisted toward the right.

"What is it?" he asked, distant and cool.

Ino sat on the edge of his bed, looking down at her hands. They shook. They curled into fists.

"I haven't decided yet," she said.

"Hn."

Sasuke sat up and ran a hand through his hair.

"I saw a purple dress in the window display of a baby clothes store. I wanted to buy it for her, and I realized I wouldn't be the one dressing her. That's why I was crying."

Her profile trembled, her eyes filled with tears, but she still wouldn't look away.

"You should get to dress her," Sasuke said thickly.

"Would you kiss me for me or just for her?" she laughed dryly thinking of the way he had kissed her belly, then startled when noticing her.

Sasuke frowned.

"For us," he replied without hesitation. "For you and I. I never thought of you... as only a surrogate."

Ino smiled through her tears.

"Would you kiss me now?"

Sasuke edged closer to her. He gathered her tears under his thumb and tilted her chin up. His face gleamed, half-light and half-shadows, his hair falling in front of his eyes. Her mouth parted, her gaze shifting between his eyes and his mouth.

"For us," he muttered against her lips. "I'll buy that dress."

They paused, breathing in. Breathing out. He brushed his lips against hers, resting his forehead against hers. She moved her head to nudge him. Their lips met again harder. His hand slid down her neck, pulling her closer.

"For family," she pants between kisses and pressed herself against him.

Sasuke knew the nightmares wouldn't stop. The buzzing in his head would always be there, fading in and out. He would still be maimed, but he still thought: ' _Now_ ,' he thought.

His arm circled her waist.

' _Now, I'm_ _little more_ _free._ '

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, guys! Stay safe!


End file.
